I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
