New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
