gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
