the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
