I love black thongs
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
