I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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