But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
