Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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