We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
do nipples grow back?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
