she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
