would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
