I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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