I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
