You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
