if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
