I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
