batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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