also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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