you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
