You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
