I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
