I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
