When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Randomize
