so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
