next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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