i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
