oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
