I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
