Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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