Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
