i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
please come you make the beer taste better
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
