A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
