i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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