i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Who did Billy Mays play for?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
