I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
