peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
and you fell through a lawn chair
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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