I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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