I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
