No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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