i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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