I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's blow job season.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
