Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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