Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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