no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He keeps bees of course he's weird
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
