LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
