Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
