Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
we're making bets on your personal life
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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