Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My dick has a subreddit
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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