I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
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