Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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