and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
