After last night, I could never be a politician.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
