you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize