I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
how drunk are you?
Several
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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