I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
