Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize