Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
should my penis look like a turkey
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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