You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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